There are men, few of them who are willing to die for the ones they love the most. Most of them however, choose to live with the people they despise than die for their loves. The futility in living with a dim hope of a brighter tommorow. A momentous joy and cherishness. The lives of men and women and children.
The old Joseph was a man of virtue and beliefs. He believed in the most profoundest things on Earth. He believed in God. His god taught him to love, taught him kindness and most of all taught him the very intricates of the human nature. Desire.
Through his god, he learnt and knew how humans could end up their lives in the futile oceans of desires and worthless passions. He knew what it could yield. And, it was then he vowed before the god to lead a common life for he believed he knew he was born for greater things. Things neither you nor me can fathom. Things he believed that were solely for him. It was after this realization that he began living. And he lived long. Long enough not to die.
Old joseph had learnt to live with what he had than wishing for more. He had a wife. A bold and courageous lady but ill tempered. A lady with dreams and passions. She held in her heart a fire. A fire kindled from the lives and hopes of people who had suffered and those were the only people she knew. Yes, old joseph and his young wife had learnt to live together after all those long years. It was painful but they seemed to be going well, for there are things that go on by themselves and they are at their best when left alone.
At all the other things, they had notable similarities. Like, while they were making love and if you were there peeping at their midnight window you could see how well they were comitted towards each other. And you could see how much they loved each other. Their love flourished from mere a realization that there was no real LOVE. And yes, they loved each other!
Things dont go on the same for change is inevitable. One fine day, Margaret woke and found Joseph wasnt around. He simply wasnt there. He had left. Maybe for greater things, she thought. But Joseph was drawn by mere a thing. Ego. His senility, he thought would be painful and troublesome to his young and beautiful wife for he well remembered how they had ended up in marriage. It was a short tale but a beautiful one. Margaret’s brother, Vincent had been a school pal of Joseph and it was how they had met. It was a short meeting but a long moment. A mature heart and a blooming heart entwined together in what they called love but mere an infatuation. And that very infatuation had led to such a huge thing as marriage.
Joseph knew very well about Margaret. He knew her desperation but he also knew his deliberation. He had, at every moment of his life tried to become a good and a loving husband to Margaret but had never become successful at doing so. After all, he was a matured man…
There were times when he had wanted to hug her and tell her how much he loved her. And how much she meant to him. But his introspection seldom allowed him to do that. He knew he loved her but he also knew he would love any other women as much he loved her. There was nothing more, there was nothing less. There was no any degree of comparision. It wasn’t love.
So, he thought of leaving himself. He thought of leaving a part of himself away from him so that where ever he might be, he could hear its call. And he could come rushing in to soothe it. It was his childish dream but a dream nonetheless.
He had been well accoustomed to saying goodbyes during his life but this one seemed difficult. He couldn’t find words. He couldn’t find emotions. All he could find was himself. Alone and solitary, lost in the unfathomable depths of desperation. And he wrote a goodbye for her. A short but a nice goodbye.
We have had a great time together and those were the most beautiful times I have ever had. I allow today, myself the priviledge of calling you my love for I have loved you all my life and it would seem being rude to myself and you for not letting you know things I wanted you to know. If only I had known that love was bonded within those reddy petals, I would have endeavoured to set it free but my heart, it sees things too late and realizes never. Maybe this is who I am, Maybe not.
I am not that good at saying goodbyes for I always avoided partings in all my life but this one seemed inevitable. It seems to me, with this parting, I shall be doing a favour to myself and you, for there were things between us that werent going on as we wanted them to. I do not take the blame solely upon myself nor do I blame it wholly upon you for I know we both had our parts in it and we played it well. This is the only thing I can do to make things right between us and to our lives. But to me, it would still be the least thing I can do for I know I can do a lot more for us.
I do not intend to take away your life and passion from you, for I know how hard it was for us to live together. Nor do I want it to become easy.
I believe what once began has to have an end and it is time we had our end.
Live to the fullest and take your passions to the extremes. Know what you have in you who you are. This is the only thing I would ever want from you. This shall be the most humble favour I will have from you.
TO BE CONTD….